I am always the last one to admit depression, but this month has done me in. I am usually diagnosed and then arguing about that diagnosis. But now I honestly know that I am depressed and have no control of any aspect of my life now. For a control freak girl, this is not good. If it wasn't for my Angie moving, I would be trying to find a place to stick my head in the sand and wait as the world goes by.
Most of all this stems from the economy. I don't even have control of my menu, because I can't even get all of the groceries needed for my menu. And then their is the complaining that goes on when I try to stretch out the meal with beans. I am in need of clothes and my daughter broke my cute pink sandals. Pat's truck has problems and we can't figure it out. There goes the last of my inheritance from my Grandma. Gone and unable to face my Dad. And what does my grandmother think from heaven? And then when I protest and try to voice my opinion, I am not being submissive. Heck, I am a failure in all areas of my life.
The only good thing right now is that Pat is exploring ways to stay and not move us out of state.
I do have a plan today. I am going to Angie's, most likely for the last time. Until my husband calls me back home so we can strip away dignity and close out some accounts. :(
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1 comment:
Sheri, I'm sorry you've been having a hard time. It seems like the past 2 years have been one trial after the other for us as well, and I'm just waiting to reach the end of the tunnel. It's hard to trust God amidst the trials, but at least He has given us friends to lean on and to pray for us. It helps things not seem so bad. I will certainly pray for you.
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